Monday Mumbling – Facials

Okay, you know I’m not talking about the kind in that picture. I read something on Tumblr recently, well, a link I should have saved, but it was about the increasing prevalence of facials in porn and real life, and where that came from and what it means. It primarily referred to straight porn, but apparently it started as a way to show the viewer the reaction of the woman to the guy finishing. Since you couldn’t focus the camera on the money shot and her absolute bliss at seeing her man come *coughbullshitcough*, if he came on her face, you had the best of both worlds.

The next point was that this is very demeaning and misogynistic, and way to degrade women. In the many comments there were several younger people (not sure male or female) who said they had partners give them a facial without warning. Most people were outraged that someone would do that without asking explicit permission, other people said they didn’t mind, a rather whatever attitude.

So I started thinking about m/m and how prevalent this practice is. I’ve read it a few times, I can’t think of any specifically off-hand. Perhaps I’m in the “whatever” category, or have been desensitized to it? Is it different than ejaculating on their chest, stomach, butt, *insert other body part*? I’ll be perfectly honest, I’ve not ever experienced this in real life, but I’m assuming my reaction would depend largely on the intent behind it, and the relationship with the person. Like any sex act, it can come across as hot and sexy, or gross and degrading, depending on the situation.

So do you have any particular feelings about facials in your romance? (Or real life, whatever you feel comfortable sharing. I have heard it hurts like a bitch if you get it in your eye.) I’ve never written one, maybe because it just doesn’t pop to my mind as something to include, but if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be with the intent to degrade the other character, just another activity to share between two consenting adults.

I’m declining to post another subject-related pic, but they all look pretty happy in the pics on Google. Ahem.

19 thoughts on “Monday Mumbling – Facials

  1. Chris says:

    Like you, my reaction to it in books really depends on the intent behind in.

    • Tam says:

      Yeah, I think it’s pretty hard to blanket statement any particular sex act which was the article I read seemed to be aiming for, that it was intended to degrade someone in someway, so therefore was always degrading. But oral sex can be degrading if that is the intent behind one of the participants. It’s not something I think about much I guess, it’s just there.

  2. Jenre says:

    Often it’s used as a way for one guy to ‘brand’ or show ownership of another guy and it gives the splooger a real sense of satisfaction when he’s done it. Most of the time I just go with it, as long as both guys as happy. There’s usually a warning line, like “I’m gonna come on your face” or something like that and the other guy then goes “oh yeah that would be totally hot!”.

    There was this whole amusing thing in the JL Langley Tin Star books where one of the characters occasionally wore glasses and the other one wanted to come on them. He was always trying to catch the other guy into giving him a blow job whilst he was wearing his glasses. It was used as a fun thing between them rather than a serious or degrading act.

    • Tam says:

      I remember that Jen. I think so much is the intent and if the one partner doesn’t care then it’s not a big deal and can be hot.

      Oh guys and their “mine” thing.🙂 Maybe because girls don’t have that option it’s not thought of much. Or maybe the fingernail marks is the female version of “leaving your mark”.

  3. Val Kovalin says:

    Tam, you’ve just increased my sphere of sexual knowledge, ha, ha! It had never occurred to me that “facial” could have another, less-than-mundane meaning!

    And this, God! I have heard it hurts like a bitch if you get it in your eye. I bet it would!

  4. Kris says:

    The ‘facial’ has becum – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m so funny! – almost a trope of its own in yaoi. Depending on the story, it can be fun or an act of ownership in the more intense seme/uke pairings.

    Thinking about it, though, I’m not sure I’ve ever read a scene in which this sexual act was meant to be degrading, even the ones between a Master and Slave form part of their relationship and, despite any squeamishness, should really be read within this context.

    “… but they all look pretty happy in the pics on Google. Ahem.”

    So not surprised by this.😛

  5. Tam says:

    Ah, what a wit.🙂

    I’ve never seen it used negatively either and I was kind of surprised at the tone of the article that it was meant to be degrading because I’d never read it that way. Maybe in het suff? Not sure.

  6. Tam says:

    Okay, weirdly just started a new book and page 11 “I want you to shoot on my face.” Now because I posted this piece, it will suddenly be everywhere.

  7. K. Z. Snow says:

    “I have heard it hurts like a bitch if you get it in your eye.”

    Crack me up!😀

    Uh . . . in my youth, I was known to request “targeted shots.” I think it’s hot, but only by mutual consent.

    • Tam says:

      I think that’s the point for me, vs what was in the article. As long as both people think it’s hot, then it’s not a big deal and doesn’t depict some deeper meaning beyond the moment.

  8. K. Z. Snow says:

    How do I get rid of that ugly pink face? Now there’s someone who took a shot in the eye.

  9. Polt says:

    Facial are fine, hot even, but not by surprise. I’ve never had one or given one by surprise, it just seems polite to ask, whether giving on recieving.

    And i can assure you, from personal experience, it burns like a MUTHA-FUCKA when it gets in your eye! Even after three eye washes in shower, mulitple wipings with towels, and a few eye drops, it still took well over a half an hour for the pain to start to subside. I thought I was not going to be able to open my right again EVER. Oh it was so SO bad!

    Avoid it ALL costs!


    • Polt says:

      I remember a bukkake video of 30 guys…climaxing on one other guy (it was a Japanese video…pretty hot all in all), and the…recieving guy was wearing those wrap around goggle things, and that was all. And it made me laugh at first, but as the video went on, I totally understood why he was wearing eye protection.

      ……or was this too much infomation?


      • Tam says:

        It’s never too much information hon. LOL I have heard that about the pain, and I agree, a surprise could be rather off-putting and more prone to the eye issue if you’re not prepared. Somehow the goggles sound way unsexy though.

        Guy 1: “Wait, wait, just a minute.” gets swim goggles on “Okay, now”.
        Guy 2: “Eh, I’ve lost the moment.”

        • Polt says:

          Well, it WAS a porno, and the guy arrived on the set wearing nothing BUT the googles. And the other 30 guys were all watching a straight porn offscreen (that had the volume up WAY too loud), and not looking at the guy or the googles. Until the last minute, that is.

          Hmmm, this doesn’t verge into the realm of TMI either, does it?🙂


          • Tam says:

            I prefer to think of it as educational. You’re providing a service.

            And nothing is more annoying that guys in porn watching straight porn while doing a guy. Ugh. If you can’t get do the job without an aid, find another line of work.

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